Give Me Freedom

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I pray to be released
From every sense of confinement,
Confident that day will come,
Lift me away and out of myself.
No longer bound to ego, identity,
Memories of past or hopes for future.
Free me from all limitations of words,
Fears and even dreams of freedom.

Unlock my cage and dissolve all iron bars
That hold me firm upon the Earth.
Let me rise as warm air into cold night,
Drift into eternal Light that beckons,
Washes over Soul and cleanses all it touches.
It is not enough to hear the silence.
Allow me to embody Silence as a gift.

I need no reasons to prove, no necessary facts,
No inward road to follow. Let me rest in the place
Where everything waits in stillness, yet moves.
Warms but never burns. Creates, destroys,
Recreates to change a lasting chorus of joy.
Tears will freely flow until all pain
Has bled out of every artery and vein.

Let me be forgotten, unremembered….
And so to finally be at Peace,
Lulled to sleep yet also awakened
In that place where even Sun steps back a pace.
Held only in the Mind of God
I will finally wonderfully be absolved,
Dissolved, merged into only One.

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Long Blue Shadows

 

long blue shadows

Dreams emerge in sleepy darkness,
Weave images, wordless messages,
Plain and clear yet hidden in deep mystery,
Only hinted as they erupt from depths
Sensed but impossible to know
Except as seen through dark glass,
Cobwebs, all unknown, unknowable
Yet seeking to be known,
Rising this first step to consciousness,
Retrieved, remembered, claimed,
Surprised as truth long resisted.

There, spilled out upon the sheets,
Unseen by eyes, testifies in private,
Joined in morning’s meadow of wonder
More than those who breathe or those
Deceased, without whom my life
Would not be as it is, stretched out,
Lost within haunted woods,
Fallen to the bottom of deep well,
Water from the spring forever flowing
Into long blue shadows of the night.

Louie Bowman Almost Killed Me

 

Louie Bowman

Years ago, a two year old
Runs outside after church,
Down steep steps to the sidewalk,
Trips, falls down and rolls and rolls
Down the embankment,
Out into the street
Just as a car is pulling up.

Louie Bowman is arriving to
Pick up his ailing Bessie.
He sees the young boy rolling down,
Red hair flying. as out into the street he comes,
Rolling right in path of his car.

Louie yanks hard on the steering wheel,
Pulling as hard as he can to the left.
But he feels the right front wheel
Hit something and he panics,
Braking the blue-green 1948 Ford
To full stop in the middle of the street.

He hears the boy screaming,
Adults running, and it takes
A few seconds for Louie
To process that a scream is good.
In order to scream, the boy
Must be alive! Praise God!
He wipes his brow and sobs.

The wheel of his car had only
Grazed the side of the head
Of the little boy named Freddie.
The boy will forever hold memories
Of rolling out into the street
And the rush of the car toward his head,
Vulnerable, helpless in front of the church.

It was only the first of many times
When Death swooped close to Fred,
But left empty handed. As an
Adult, he counts about ten.
Together, they form a web within the mind,
Surrounded and held by patterns
Only partly formed by things that never were.

Whose life is really their own?
Control an illusion, from the day
One is born till one breathes no more.
A child tumbles and rolls into the street,
Only a moment too slow to be killed,
Remembers the story seventy years later.

He counts on fingers the many times he
Could easily have died— car accidents,
Falls, near drowning, illness where he could have,
Should have died, odds objectively calculated at
More than 99.8% that he should have died—
Yet he lives and breathes and finds love, purpose,
Mission, determination from the whole of life.

What of your life? What is the shape of your Web?
Does it sparkle in mornings from dew?
Does it shimmer in the arch of years?
Where has it led you, vulnerable, lucky,
Disposed to exertions of will….
Spun by spider as agent of the Hand of God?
Strangely translucent, mysterious as prayer—
Do you notice each day of your life?

Everything we do belongs to a world
We have not created by ourselves,
Has its history before history
For better and worse. For millennia,
People have pondered such webs in the stars,
Seen omens, cast spells, studied
Visible and invisible webs we call destiny.

In ancient scripture,
God tells Moses for Israel to designate
Six cities of refuge “so that anyone
Who kills someone inadvertently
May flee there for sanctuary.”
Those who kill with weapons cannot live there.
Accidents were contemplated
With great deliberation by highest authorities.
Would Louie had lived in a city of refuge
Had I died at the age of two that Sunday?

Roads leading to cities of refuge were to be well marked,
Free of obstacles, wider than regular roads,
So those who have killed through hand of fate,
Unwittingly, might proceed without delay,
Not be alone with their regret or guilt….
Poor old Louie came close that day, as close
As the little red haired head to his wheel.

Was that one of the reasons Louie and I were friends—
Years later while I was in high school,
Invisible bonds from me to him and he toward me?
I only know we never spoke of it. I wish I’d gone
To thank him for my life, to express my gratitude,
Told him I would be okay now, he could relax.
Something terrible never happened.
And it deserved attention.

So Much Has Passed

Much Has Passed

In Memory of David W.

Tonight, I thought of you sitting at table,
Eating from these same plates,
Remember your hands that held this glass.
No longer are you here. So much has passed.

Music playing was your favorite music,
Now more than simple music to my ears.
It brings tears to eyes, vibrates, imparts
Not only to ears but touches longing heart.

I smell the apple pie you often made
Each time I taste orchid’s fruity sweetness
Mixed with honey of your eyes.
Sad we never said goodbye.

So many times you moved my heart,
Touched my life in ways I never knew,
Now remembered daily…. Your face that cast
Laughing smile, alive in memory and does not pass.

Twists and Turns

Twists and Turns

Some days the sky fills with clouds.
I do not know why some are dark,
Some are white, some every color,
Blazing, amazing, confusing.

Do clouds cloak the truth,
Hide the Sun or face of God?
Or do clouds show the way—
Another sign that life’s a-maze-ing….

So many twists and turns,
Most I cannot see or sense—
Looking for an entrance,
Exit, portal to mindful presence.

Sometimes I feel all alone in this.
Then suddenly there you are,
Beside, behind, above,
Fluttering within my heart.

Without Hope, Still We Resist

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Yes, there were some who saw
Into the Dark Truth that was descending.
But regrettably, they were few.
Most were living within delusions,
Not realizing how blind they were.

I know you worked hard to see—
Felt the tremors within the Earth,
Hoped for a cure and not a curse.
Who among us does not struggle
With our own addictions and false myths,
Hoping that hard work and prayer
Might change the world for the better?

Now the Ogre sits upon the throne,
Undoes all the good done in past years.
All we do is wonder where we went wrong.
All we can do is resist and resist.
May we learn that though we
Be weak and poor, together
We can be strong—overthrow
The Darkness that envelops the Light.

Let us attend the redeeming work
as we begin to understand
a call for selfless mission,
bringing not death but life
to each other and the World.
Can you be open to the hidden vision
found deep within your heart?

Beginning or Ending

My Time,My peace
Under a waning moon,
I lay in the grass before dew had formed—
Though it was cool and damp,
Like quickly dried hair after shower.

Sky darkened and stars went away,
Birds were asleep and out of the way.
I sensed calm descend along with piercing sight
Not known in heavier heat of day.

My tongue was wood and my limbs were stone,
Tired eyes were about to succumb to sleep.
Under my head were strands of grass,
Clear in my mind, the hair of the Earth.

The lawn was a carpet that stretched to the end
Where trees towered unseen where they bend
Like willows that reach to bring their arms
Swaying in breeze as they work their charms.

This is the World I inhale into lungs,
Absorb into skin and take deep into bones—
This is my place, this is my home, this is my time….
Beginning or ending, my rock and my peace.