My Private Cave; My Secret Cove

Private CaveToday I pause and feel compelled
To clear my lungs of every worry—
When eyes are closed and darkness
Surrounds my very being….
Why am I not lonely, though the world
Begins to fade away a thousand miles an hour?
No lights from cities reach my inner self.

In the stillness, I am at peace.
No other love than the Great Love,
Thin blue spot deep from my interior
Rises out of silence to secure.
Here I am completely defenseless.
No hope. No fear. No shadows
Cast by others from shallow smiles.

Is this my private cave? My secret cove?
My cul-de-sac well hidden from main roads?
Perhaps this is an intimation of death,
A falling away into soft brown Earth,
Contending with no yesterday or tomorrow,
No wish for more, yet satisfied at last.
Finally, I am at peace with myself.

Cannot Lose My Way

Cannot Lose My Way

Forever will I be a stranger
Upon round spinning Earth.
This is not the Home I seek,
Though it be the only home I know.

For me, this Earth is but a school—
Its sorrows and cares always teach,
Then I retire into cool shade
For balm to calm my soul.

Here in evening mists
Moves living Spirit in gentle winds
That cause my heart to dance,
Tremble as do green leaves upon the trees.

Deeply do I breathe this cloud of Ages,
Trust it as my clearest guide
When freely as a bird I fly,
Wings held by murmured breath.

There is eternal blessing
In this soft breeze upon my cheek,
From vast unknowns it comes and goes.
I follow as I can, yet cannot lose my way.

If You Live Upon a Slant

Slant

I had no choice in where the seed would fall,

Only that tension of the future was unbearable.

So I had to break through stone’s narrow cracks,

Force roots deep in indirect directions.

I wanted to grow straight, cast off the burden…

But how does one escape the inescapable?

 

Running away was not an option.

No one came to help or transplant so I could

Find rich soil and sunlight, uproot me to

Give a straighter way to grow— easy salvation.

Do you also look for help from outside—

Wait for Prince Charming to arrive?

 

So this is what I have to offer—

No other way is like your own….  Learn to grow

Where your roots are found within your heart

What comes lies within your essence.

Be thankful, even if you live upon the slant.

Fulfill the destiny that is yours to live.

Words Are Unwelcome Here

Words Are Unwelcome HereHere in the forest tangle,
Rises humid air— protection
Buffers against the summer heat.
All seems quiet in faint yet heavy breeze
Except birds who speak in song.

I wonder if the trees appreciate
Their shade, the far reach of limbs,
Slow growth of nuts and fruits they give.
Somewhere deep inside hot jungle
Lies a sermon that I fail to grasp.

Words are unwelcome here.
The squirrels that spring from tree to tree
Pause to rest, observe— their little hands
Held in position as though in prayer.
Can you feel living Mystery here?

Sun above is rising higher,
Old buttery fingers reaching out,
Stretching to embrace the whole of Earth.
Underneath its power, I can only offer
Witness to the wonder now unfolding—

Necessary pain leads to letting go,
Slow growth and ever-present change.
The birds have flown away
To some grand adventure for the day.
Boldly, I stand and go to join them.

How I See the World Today

How I See the World Today

 

I wish to God I might convey

How I see the world today—

Unsure of if I clearly see

Or add some color unique to me.

 

There are days I see the world in gold,

Sometimes it’s blue or green or rolled

So tightly bound within my mind

I wonder if my sight is cruel or kind.

 

Perhaps today I’m like Monet,

Who saw the world in a field of hay.

I only know I see as gift

When summer comes so warmly kissed.

Almost Filled With Blue

Almost Filled With BlueThe world is almost filled with blue,
Not blue sky, but covered by clouds of gray
With hints of blue— while I stand alone
Watching the world as straight as I can.
Eyes open, observing subtle details,
Waves lapping at bare feet on white sand,
Gazing into distance, taking in wide land.
Wondrous is this world of beauty,
Calm, yet stormy. Peaceful, yet threatening.
Hold me in this tension until I’m full,
Overflowing with gratitude for the power
That lies all around— blue and gray and simple white.

Orlando

Orlando

For many, their families had no idea
Where they had gone that night,
No idea their kids were gay.
They were Latino, and in most
Latino families, these things
Are seldom spoken of,
Avoided— though parents may suspect.

So when the phone call came,
Early on Sunday morning,
She finally had confirmation
That her son was gay—
And that he was dead,
His corpse waiting at the hospital,
Blood still oozing from a dozen holes.

She might have procrastinated
In telling her husband,
Hoping to wait until
She had prepared him breakfast,
But now the meal was uncooked yet burned.
Her sobbing concentrated tightly
In the empty, constricting room.

Whatever had buttressed her heart
Was now forever torn to pieces,
Bleeding on the kitchen floor—
Her child, her youngest boy,
Forever gone. She kept thinking
Of his radiant smile, his dark wavy hair
Ephemeral as a shadow in her mind.

Her scream was massive,
Eight feet tall it seemed,
Waking all within the house
From dreams that disappeared
As quickly as the boy’s breath had ceased.
She screamed again, yet could not hear,
Words decimated before they reached the tongue.

How strange, the profundity of disappearance,
The unexpected destruction of something beautiful,
Precious to her heart and soul—
Tragedy she had been unable
To foretell or prevent. She knew
In places she could never enter
That she would blame herself.

As yet she could not fathom this finality,
The length of grief… the weight
Of empty sadness, filled with loss.
Her face now already writhed,
Tortured surface streaked with tears
That would last for days and years.
And then the coldest, cruelest fear of all—

Where was God in all of this?
What scene of demonic hatred
Had crept into the club
To kill her baby— with purpose,
Planning, determination—
And God had stood there
Passively, if God was there at all.