Suicide, Then and Now….

 How lonely you must have felt.
What were you thinking
As alone you tied the knot?
How long had you
Been hanging by a thread?
Could you see no path forward?
No future with yourself in it?
Had you no fear of death?
 
Was there no one you could reach?
No friend, no family, no priest—
Not a single one you could trust
With your overwhelming pain?
 
Afterwards, I heard you left behind
A note, filled with anger
Directed toward others and yourself.
Did you never learn that innocence
For all was lost when we were young?
 
Was I so absorbed and blinded
That I couldn’t see this coming?
Why didn’t I reach out and make a call?
Everyone is deserving of love and respect.
I know I could have offered tender smile,
Reached out a hand more often.
Did you know you were loved, then and now?
I see your face some nights
Suspended in time,
Hanging by a moment,
Questions twisting in my mind,
Cold wind outside
Rushing like great ocean tide.

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2 thoughts on “Suicide, Then and Now….

  1. I wasn’t going to comment on this poem, but seeing it again today I felt the need.

    When I was in high school, there was a very beautiful girl that went at the same time. She had everything – brains, looks, clothes, personality, good family. Guys tripped over each other to get to her. She was almost like a living Barbie doll.

    Years later I worked at the same company where she worked. We exchanged pleasantries, but that was it. I quit after a period of time and moved on.

    Recently she committed suicide. I hadn’t seen or thought about her for years because there was no reason to as we weren’t friends and lived in different cities. But when I seen her picture included with her online obituary, I was shocked. So much aging, so much pain and sorrow showing on her face! She looked so sad with empty eyes.

    I found out later on that she had been clinically depressed for years before she hung herself in her garage when her husband was at work. Could someone have reached her before she felt the need to end her life? I’m sure people tried. Did she reach out to anyone? I don’t know. Her
    doctor(s) knew of her condition, but did they just push pills at her, pat her on the back and think, “post menopausal”. I don’t know.

    Now there is a hole in all the lives she interacted with on Earth. What was the point? Was there a point? I don’t know. It’s just sad.

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