How Did I Get Here?

Sometimes I think I’ve said it all,
Not once or twice, but many times
If there were those inclined to listen,
But listening is a bore to most….
So many prefer to move to sex,
To skim the surface of the body,
Not learn to subjugate the deeper
Voice that hides and hesitates
Between the words and crevices.
They fail to see the second moon that hides
Among whatever rocks block the
Deeper flow and clot the blood with loss.
 
How did I get here?  How long will I remain?
Often, as I grow old, spend my hours
Alone in contemplation of the world,
Go through names of those I love,
Touch those present and those in empty spaces,
Those who seek me out,
Desire the lightness of my very being,
Whatever wisdom might be mine to give….
I give my plainest love—
The only thing I own.
 
I prosper from what I hear them say,
Their pain instructs, the clearest voice….
Lonely echoes as a bell tolls each hour,
Spills from seams where no one listens—
No one comes across long distance
Closer to the home of heart,
Fails to glean deeper message hidden.
 
Where have they been?  How did they get here?
What powers and what regimes are honored
Deep within the breast?  What gives them pause
To hesitate and pray?  Where are the spaces
Between whatever boulders have washed
Down from mountains in the distance,
Now give reference to whatever gods
Bring order to their hours and days?
What angry voices are cherished in the spleen?
 
What fields or parks sustain their play?
What gardens have they planted?
What dreams speak in silence of the dark?
What hymns or songs are quietly sung
As they shower or wash dishes,
Hoping the aftermath will go and not return?
What drains them?
What are they running toward and running from?
What color is their sky?  What phase of moon
Penetrates the purple gloom that hangs upon the air?
 
Such mysteries are each and all of us….
The ache in stomach when someone loved
Says nothing, remains aloof and silent
As the years move on…. 
How did I get here?
What grateful pathways have brought
Such painful beauty?
How long will I remain?

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