I was seduced long ago
By the wounds in his hands and feet,
Was told the blood that flowed
Would wash away the stench of sin,
Mistook the rites of prayer that promised
Holiness would always come—
Spread against the meager eye
Before it went away, scattered
In the darkness as ashes in the wind.
I put wings on images of angels,
Closed my eyes and was taught to fold hands
While praying to a God who stood apart,
Silently listening for wrongs….
I learned beauty was something
Perfect and static, to be admired but never touched….
Confused surface shapes for what is real,
Admired velocity instead of inner light.
Now I see the geese in flight toward sun,
Weaving in the brightest blue,
Wings unfurled, unfolding the purposes of God
Using invisible currents of wind to find their bearings,
Scattering feathers as they plead for mercy
And I cry without knowing why.
Beauty kills me…. blasting open closed heart.
I stand under the oak as it spreads its arms;
Lie down in tall, green grass before the mowing comes;
Watch gentle clouds, their ephemeral kisses
Thrown against blue windows of the sky….
And I cannot understand why
I love so blindly—
Move so slowly to close the distance
Between the skin and that which remains
Veiled by the shimmering light,
Forever hidden and unseen.